Don’t try harder. Do harder!

MY HIGH SCHOOL GRADES HAVE BEEN HORRIBLE! To me they are never good enough, I am literally embarrassed by them. I have finally found the perfect college, that I dream of going to and I am embarrassed to give them my grades. I don't want them to turn me down. They are looking for extraordinary and right now, I'm less than ordinary in that department. So the way I see it is I need to take my failures as a motivator to "DO HARDER!" because try harder obviously wasn't enough. I want the Stanford dean to look at my file and say we NEED her. I want to be there! Studying medicine in California is like a dream that I don't only want, but I NEED. I want it so bad that I NEED to work harder to achieve greatness or I will not be getting into Stanford and the rest of my life I will just be wishing and thinking what if?