Round Four= Marni Gillard

In Gillard Story High Dive Word I liked how the character never gave up, and the writer really put great importance on that subject by repeating the event of the character going up to the high dive board and saying yes I can do it and then failing, but once again going back up until she finally built up the courage to do a 'big kid dive'. Here the story displays that determination;

"I chickened out.

'Next time, Daddy,' I shouted toward the shallow end without meeting Dad’s eyes. I sat down fast and slid into the familiar rhythm of the rocking-horse dive. I rocked waaaaaay back, then just fell off…… big splash."

She promised her father that she would keep trying, and then later in the story she is seen making efforts to change her form and become better so she can achieve the dive;

"I swam to where my brother was playing with his friends. "Jimmy, how'd you do your first high dive? How is it different from the low board dive?"

Playing tag, he didn't want his little sister bugging him. "Not now, Marni, I'll tell ya later."           "Pleeeeze, Jimmy? Just tell me quick.” Then I remembered Grandma’s words about catching more flies with honey. “You're so good at diving.”

He grinned and scrunched his forehead. "Well - you hold the swan longer." He held out his arms to demonstrate."

She asked her brother for advice to improve.

I also liked the way the author elongated words, for example, "I got back in line, all shiiiiiiivery.", "I rocked waaaaaay back", and "Pleeeeze, Jimmy? Just tell me quick.” This gave the story a more realistic feel which was necessary considering the story is based upon a real event from the authors past, and she sometimes presents the story orally.

In Gillard Artist's journey 'High Dive' what I feel worked was,

"That day my colleagues in the writing class applauded my reading of 'High Dive,' I felt a surge of determination. I would begin telling my stories, not just writing them privately and filing them away. No one was going to stop my autobiographical explorations again."

I feel it is important to leave that small turning point in there. The point where the author decided to present her story orally and to never stop writing autobiographies. I also like how the piece tends to sum up everything and how the story has reflected upon her life.

And what I feel didn't work was, 

"Many of Irish-American clan chose stoicism over self-reflection. They carried emotional scars from two World Wars and a genuine fear of alcoholism and suicide, both of which had touched our family. 'Leave it be,' and 'Don’t be airing your dirty laundry,' were mantras they’d learned to repeat." 

I didn't feel like it was relevant to the story enough it just seemed like extra information meant to aid in understanding, but I feel it did not reach that goal enough to have it remain in the piece.

Overall I felt both stories were great and I am glad the author decided to share her story.

1/12 Speaker= 3