"My name is Alaynah Harlow, the Alaynah Harlow, about whom you have read in newspapers and magazines, about whom you talk so much at your dinner affairs and cocktail parties, the notorious and legendary."
I stand there on a higher ledge above her. With closed fists, a straight face, and my arms arranged forcefully at my side, bent at a ninety degree angle.
"Please don't flatter yourself", She said sitting below me with her back turned and her head leaning over her shoulder to see me as she spoke. Her phrase was filled with a tad of sarcasm and an expression that seemed to show she was annoyed.
"Excuse me? Don't be so jealous" I said with a jocular tone and a more relaxed posture.
"Even if I was jealous, which I am not, I would not be jealous of you!" She said this with such a stern tone and believability, that I almost believed the false statement leaving her rose colored lips.
"Oh don't bother, my dear young sister, it's okay to be. Believe me I can't blame you. I mean look at me." I said with a small smirk following the superficial statement.
"Of what? Look at what? The small success that you see to be so great?!" I could now see the anger slowly building up deep within her.
"Please, sis, do not call my success small. I have become a star! A celebrity! Famous! Bound to be transient as the fans line up to receive my name signed on their valued items!" I said this with such positivity and confidence.
"You are anything but."
"I beg to differ; I have dreamed big and achieved greatness. You know now that I think of it that may be the problem..."
"What?! A problem?! Where?" She looks around in a serious manner, hoping this would prove a point, "because I do not see one anywhere."
"Do not pretend...It is not hidden. To me it's in plain sight." Still on the ledge, I remove my arms from my side and lift them to about shoulders length. My arms still bent, with my palms up, now shrugging my shoulders.
"(Of coarse)...OF COARSE!" First saying it with a whisper, but now yelling. Not holding back the anger, but letting it roam free. Poisoning the air that it touches, surrounding us both.
"Calm down, please, just calm down. There is really no need for this behavior."
"No need? NO NEED?! To you anything that has to do with something other than yourself has 'no need!'" She said taking two fingers from both hands and bending them to emphasize the words 'no' and 'need'. She was quoting me and I just became more confused, and slightly angry. What does she mean? What is up with her today? Where has my sister gone? Shouldn't she be happy for me?
"Hey! What are you talking about?"
"Now YOU stop pretending! You have always been in the limelight, center stage. I'm just so sorry that you have lost one of your fans from your big ol' fan club that you pride yourself so much on." Her sarcasm was now in great abundance, every sentence was filled with it. She was so serious, but yet couldn't hold back the sarcasm that filled her personality.
"I am not pretending...I just do not understand."
"Yep, I knew it! Oblivious to the whole situation, Ms. Alaynah Harlow, now looks like the victim as her crazy sister accuses her of devious affairs. I can see it now, right on the cover page of magazines." I just stared back at her young, beautiful face. I felt like I barely knew my baby sister anymore, she had let this anger consume her, and she was willing to push me away to cope.
Finally I said something, "Listen I am truly sorry. I did not know that you felt this way." Although I knew she didn't want me to, I stepped down from the ledge and walked over to her. I sat down beside her and patted her back. Sincerely I just sat there watching her as she stared at the ground speechless. This would take time; she had bottled up all of these feelings, until the bottle finally was filled and could not fit anymore. She was not broken, just cracked. The bottle needed to be fixed.
"I just..." She tried to speak but her speech had come to a halt as waterfalls of tears came to her eyes.
"Now listen, it's okay. I am sorry and here for you know. Talk. Talk as much as you need to. To me. I am here. And as much as your problems may have been caused by me, I am here. And I'm not leaving till this is solved." Her face all red and puffy, saddened but also touched. She just looked up and watched me, stared right into my eyes, and waited. "I am not leaving. Sorry I was not here before, but I am now. And I am not going. So talk."
"Okay, okay..." She paused to regather her thoughts, and then momentarily began speaking again. "I-I guess I am just surprised. There is a heart in there. Deep down you do care. Mom and Dad had always loved you the most. You were the prettier one, the more charismatic one, the more successful one. I think I was waiting for my time, that time to shine. But I did just that. I waited, and never made it happen."
"You still have time! You are young, and determined, and one of the most honest people I know. You are filled with personality, and so you hit a little bump in the road. I did too. We all do. The real choice is whether you decide to sit there and mope around or get back up on your feet and show the world that you're ready to fight."
I surprised myself then with the wisdom that left me there. The sorrow in my sister's eyes must have just flipped the switch of wisdom. I loved this girl, and hated to see her upset, I'm just glad she still has a chance and now knows to never give up but to keep fighting. To keep going until you have found yourself and are not only satisfied, but are thriving off of what life has given you.
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